It was a great year for feminism. Let’s celebrate.
I’m number 15 on this list. I don’t know what this life is, but it’s amazing.
*p pops on the handstand for Karnythia*
Yay Karnythia!! <3
so, i’ve been having this existential crisis. it’s been going on for a few months now, and it’s mostly rooted in this conviction that i don’t exist, or that i don’t know what reality is, and the stress of all that. so i’ve been reading a lot, you know, buddhist theory, anatta, ego death, all of that, i went to temple with some holocaust survivors, went to the beach. prayed the rosary. read some derrida, borges, got a book on accessing the self from some hare krishnas, listened to david lynch talk about meditation. had a lot of sex and told someone i loved them and kissed a beautiful girl and went to the ocean at night and looked out into it. just searching, you know. writing, trying to make art, trying to grab ahold of something. and now it’s, like, 4 pm, and i’m alone on my couch watching this HBO special, just louis ck doing his routine, and he’s saying, about life, that “it’s a great deal. you get to eat, you get to fuck, you get to read to kill a mockingbird.” and all this other shit, all of this me trying to connect to myself and to other people, to everything around me, all of it’s just kind of seeming less and less necessary, listening to him talk, and laughing. and maybe that’s just it. you know, birtu said to me, that it doesn’t matter, with life, if i understand it or not, that it’ll still keep going on around me. and i think she’s probably right. and i don’t know, really. but right now, this might just be it.