favorite alt lit couples (who might not actually be couples and actually probably aren’t)

Frances Dinger and Richard Chiem

They won Alt Lit Prom Queen and King and are totally adorable. Our Selena and Justin 120%. Omg I’m believing in love just thinking about them. Adorbs.

Mallory Whitten and Jordan Castro

An obvious pick maybe, but they just look so. fucking. sexy. together. And alone. Like they’re just really, really attractive people. And talented too I guess.

Frank Hinton and Frank Hinton

Such elusiveness! Such enigma! Such intrigue! Somewhere in Canada there lives a woman named Frank who might actually be a man named Frank who might actually be named something that isn’t Frank, no one knows, but we like it and it works.

Walter Mackey and Walter Davis

I’m jealous of the people on tumblr who show up in my dashboard talking about “shipping” the men from Sherlock and whatever and so I started the Official Make Walter-Walter Fan Fic movement. I’m the only member of the movement because no one else is as creepy/jealous of people who watch Sherlock as I am. But seriously every time they interact on Facebook I just think it’d be so cool if they were together and were like Walter, I liked this thing you wrote, oh thanks Walter, I liked what you wrote too. Actually there’s a very prominent alt lit writer with my name so idk according to thought catalog she’s hooked up with girls before so maybe i should just date her and then it’d be like the Walter thing but not with people named Walter. Hmm.

Stephen Tully Dierks and Steve Roggenbuck

If they got married then Pop Serial and Internet Poetry would be step-siblings and then they could create a new version of The Brady Bunch and it’d be called The Bro-ady Bunch. There’d be so many shenanigans. Steve would be all “Stephennn I’m home, hope you don’t mind but I adopted Justin Bieber!” And then Stephen would roll his eyes and say “Oh you what did I tell you we don’t have room for any more of your stray Biebers!” And then Steve would shrug and smile and Stephen would be all “I can’t stay mad at that face!” DJ Berndt would be the hapless maid who’d secretly solve everyone’s problems.

Bebe Zeva and Carles

Not really a thing anymore but it was so cool, and like, she’s a model and he’s anonymous and I really think these crazy kids can make it happen.

Marie Calloway and Tao Lin

We have learned that they will not ever sleep together, but I never said this was a sexual couples list. Their writing complements each other well idk, they’re cool cats.